Mindflow Radio: The Path is the Destination

Mindflow Radio #117: Benevolence As A Life Philosophy

• Jai and Monte

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0:00 | 27:27
Speaker

Welcome to Mindflow Radio.

Speaker 2

Mindflow Radio.

Speaker

She's Jai Lynn.

Speaker 2

And he's Monte.

Speaker

So buckle your seatbelts and get ready to take a trip towards reality.

Speaker 2

I don't wanna.

Speaker

It's not easy all the time.

Speaker 2

Yeah. It's true. It takes a lot of effort and coming back to center.

Speaker

Well, and just like exploring new ideas and new philosophies and being open. It can be challenging, certainly. And we were for this podcast, we're thinking about talking about the philosoph the philosophy of benevolence.

Speaker 2

What's benevolence?

Speaker

Yeah, and what's philosophy?

Speaker 2

Yeah, there's that.

Speaker

Yeah. Well, I would say benevolence is a feeling of you're just of wishing well for others. Like if I'm benevolent towards you, J Jay, which I am, I'm like, oh, I hope Jay does well in her life, and I hope she's happy and healthy and learns from her mistakes and you know keeps progressing. Okay. That's a that's benevolence. You know, with the the opposite side of benevolence is malevolence. You know, and but I I've been recently exploring the idea of developing benevolence as an overall philosophy in my you know in my life. And what does that mean? It means that I'm trying to view I'm trying to be benevolent towards all beings. So everyone and everything, including myself, of course.

Speaker 1

Good.

Speaker

Yeah. And just I'm exploring that what that's like and what it takes to do that. And I'm I'm working on different skills and different practices that help enforce that philosophy.

Speaker 2

And what are you finding?

Speaker

I'm finding it. It's it's highly interesting. It's a it's a great experiment. I'm loving the results. Um I'm finding how it's it is uh it's more challenging than well, it's a challenging um philosophy to really hold to, but in a way it's easy. And I just want to mention the idea of having a philosophy. Whether i if we don't choose our philosophy, our philosophy is kind of chosen for us. You know, it's like what's what's if if I don't choose a philosophy, then I just go back to status quo philosophies.

Speaker 2

Which would you agree is a subconscious mind? Is that the status quo?

Speaker

Like what's buried underneath and you well, I mean, uh developing a philosophy is you you implant like beliefs into your subconscious mind and then it becomes your philosophy. Right? If we don't actively choose our philosophy, our philosophy is chosen for us because we we'll just have like status quo beliefs in our subconscious mind, and that'll determine our philosophy. So whether we know it or not, we have a philosophy, yeah. Right? I think it's just it's a good idea to choose the philosophy, and um I've at least I have been exploring the philosophy of benevolence recently, and it's been it's been a wild ride for me. It really made me look at like people that I did not hold in a benevolent light. I really began to examine examine people, like some folks on the internet whom I I just don't like what they're posting, or I or I think they're faking it, or whatever it is. You know, but then I started looking at that and it's like, why would I feel malevolent towards them? And malevolent, I'd be like, oh, I hope they fail, I hope blah, blah, blah. They get served, you know, whatever. You know, that's like a malevolent thought. And then instead of so I started examining it through the light of benevolence. And then the question is, what is my problem? Why would I wish poorly on them? Why would I wish them to suffer? That's just like it's ridiculous because I mean, whether I wish them to suffer or not, I'm not gonna change their outcome because we all create our own karma. The boomerang, too. Well, we all create our own, yeah, that's right. We all create our own karma, and part of my karma is the energy I put out into the world gets reflected back at me. And if I have a bunch of malevolent thoughts, if I if that's what's um the energy that I'm hooking into, the collective unconscious that I'm hooking into, then that energy is gonna come back at me. So it's gonna, it's just gonna harm myself, number one, if I'm malevolent, I believe. And number two, it's not gonna make a difference for those people. I mean, that uh if I don't like what they're doing, and I can at least so I've been turning it around. I and so now instead of being irritated and wanting them to fail, it's more a feeling of, well, I hope they learn their lesson, I hope they don't create too much bad karma for themselves, I hope they can turn it around and begin you know, moving more towards um creating good karma for themselves.

Speaker 2

Okay.

Speaker

So yeah, and it's it's been uh um a wild ride because in a sense when when I think about other people instead of judging them, I kind of just discern my own reaction towards them. Nice. And then that in turn empowers me to like change my reaction if I want to.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I'm sure that takes a little bit of a deep dive into your own subconscious and interesting beliefs that are contradicting your desired beliefs.

Speaker

Why do these people irritate me? That's that's one question, you know. And according to Carl Jung, people irritate us who at least some of the time they they remind us of ourselves.

Speaker 2

Yeah, you know, that's been my experience mainly.

Speaker

Yeah, so there's that, right? And um, but an exercise that I've been thinking about, and we've worked with this in the past, is um for those who are interested in trying to develop the philosophy of benevolence or at least want to try it on. Now, that's one thing I should mention that to explore, explore what it's like to have a different belief. Like to explore that is um it takes courage, right? Yeah, because we have to face up to our cognitive dissonance, which ultimately tells us to stop, and cognitive cognitive dissonance makes us uncomfortable. So if I try and have a thought that's against one of my deep-seated beliefs, then I ex I have some cognitive dissonance, and that's a feeling of discomfort. And a lot of people at that point is like, forget it, I'm not going any farther. But if you push through it, if you push through it and really try on a belief, it's like you a belief is almost like a plug that you can like plug into your subconscious and really see what it's like. And then if you don't like it, you unplug it. Yeah, but if you never plug it in, you never know, right? And most people or a lot of people will be like, I'm not gonna plug that in because it's you know it's dumb or it's whatever.

Speaker 2

It's scary. It's scary.

Speaker

Well, that's the truth of it, but they won't admit they're scared, right? Typically.

Speaker 2

Well, it takes a level of curiosity to even want to plug in a plug where you're scared, or you know, and sometimes you have to discern that maybe you really just shouldn't plug in that plug, too.

Speaker

Well, yeah, I mean, sure. Absolutely. I'm I mean, because uh one plug would be like everybody's evil, and you know, and I I don't want to plug that in. Right? You know, because I I think I know the answer, okay, you know, that that's like just uh unproductive belief. And I I want to fill my subconscious with productive beliefs so I can thrive.

Speaker 2

And so you can vet the desired uh chance of or possibility of this thought being a good belief to try on.

Speaker

Yeah, right. Well, well, when I look at the belief, I'm like, okay, that does not seem like a shadow belief to me. You know, or this does seem if it's if it seems like a shadow, I should mention there, there are typically it's there's few, there's three levels of consciousness, three level frequencies that we can tap into, the lowest being the shadow frequency, middle being neutral, the highest being the flow frequency. It seems like benevolence for all can help me achieve either neutrality or flow. It keeps me out of the the shadow, I believe. And I should mention too that one technique that helps me achieve the benevolence for all is just viewing everybody as like spiritual beings, having a temporary human experience. If I can view everybody that way, then I'm like, okay, we're all spiritual beings, you know, that's great, but we're all confused too, so that's why we act like in messed up ways.

Speaker 2

Right. And and like you're saying, the status quo belief system subconscious that we developed in our childhood and whatever was going on, you know. Yeah, that is the confusion base that we come from.

Speaker

Well, right, yeah, we we were not raised in an enlightened society. No, not at all. And the the TVs that we set up that I I grew up watching were were not feeding my mind with enlightened information. And now Facebook is the same, you know, it's just or the media, you know. It's but if I yeah, so I I choose to not take on those beliefs, but take on my the beliefs that I think are going to really help me and help my culture and help my family and help all of humanity.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker

Let's face it, you know, if we were more benevolent, if humankind was more benevolent, what would we, what would that look like? It's like, well, we we'd all get along. There probably wouldn't be any wars, you know, that etc. And a lot of people might argue, well, they'll they'll flash back to like 19 you know, 40 Germany. They'll be like, well, we needed to hate Hitler, otherwise he would have just conquered the world, and but that's not true at all from the perspective of if the German people were more benevolent, they never would have bought Hitler's philosophy of like the Germans were the superhuman race, and you know, the Polish people and the Russians were subhumans, and we had to take their land from them because they had to be our servants, and you know, that's not a benevolent philosophy. So if people in Germany would have been more benevolent towards Hitler and towards just have that philosophy of benevolence, they would have been like, oh, well, I hope Hitler can like transform his beliefs and align his mind more with things that'll help him, you know, progress. And then also I'm not gonna follow him because his beliefs are so contrary to reality. And reality is that you know, I'm trying to be benevolent to everybody, including the Russians, you know.

Speaker 2

I'd like to say that I feel that that time in history and humanity was also just a different time of evolution, and we probably had to go through that because we went through that. Not to say we should do it again, right? But I feel that now we are at a place where benevolence is something that can be practiced and can be chosen. And um for those of us who live in a peaceful day-to-day for the most part, yeah, have the opportunity to choose benevolence. And yeah, I know that it's a virtue that I work on too. Um definitely not as focused or uh successful at it, but I do try to think about it from the angle that I learned with White Tiger Qigong, and that is that you make decisions for the betterment of all. And so, you know, when I try to think about, you know, should I have road rage right now? I can be like, no, that's just gonna cause other people upset and pass on the road road rage. And why would I do that right now when I could just chill? I'm not, you know, I I left on time, I gave myself a couple minutes. I it's okay. Right.

Speaker

And what what's one way what intellectually, what can you say to like reduce the road rage? I'm okay right now, or about the other driver who just cut you off or something.

Speaker 2

Oh, uh just really try not to have an opinion.

Speaker

That's that's kind of how I or they made a mistake, and you know, we're gonna be a little bit more than a lot of people. Yeah, people missed it.

Speaker 2

I like that, yeah. I guess I didn't make mistakes. I have not done that.

Speaker

I will have to try that, but or maybe they're in a hurry, or maybe they're distracted, or you know, yeah.

Speaker 2

Generally I feel like there's days I've really healed my road rage so much, and I drive a lot for my day-to-day job. And so I have had to face why do I have road rage? And part of it is the way I was raised. I mean, it is the status quo of my family. My dad was a race car driver, and you know, so he he had a little road rage and uh still does, and I just kind of learned that like he's the one that taught me how to drive, too, you know. So I I kind of had that as my foundation, and so healing that is a big part of getting to those status quo beliefs and really just trying to be like if somebody is driving 45 and a 55, I just have to be okay.

Speaker

Yeah, right. Yeah, I mean it's it's okay.

Speaker 2

Like he has a right, or he, she, whoever is driving that car, yeah, has the right to go 45. And if there is an opening, I will take it. And if there's not, it's okay. I'm okay.

Speaker

You think of it like radical acceptance just plays a role too. I accept this, I accept this situation. I'm not happy about it necessarily, but I'm not gonna be malevolent towards that person and drive past them and like flip them off or oh yeah, I don't do that even when I do have road rage.

Speaker 2

But I also I also want to add in another perspective, which I think is very interesting, because my first experience of hearing about benevolent and malevolent was in astrology, actually. And there's benevolent planets and malevolent planets, so I think that's very interesting, and this is really in regards to ancient astrology, and the benevolent planets was Jupiter and Venus, and those are the two that come to mind right away, and the malevolent planets being Mars and Saturn. And I just think that's so interesting that in the ancient astrology, the benevolent planets give um grace, love, beauty, expansive abundance, and the malevolent planets cause chaos, uh bring in challenges and difficulties and impulsivity and harshness. And when you look at it like that, and that's that was of course the first lens that I was playing with benevolent, malevolent energy, and uh to to use that lens and say, wow, how can I connect with the benevolent side of things and also be willing to notice that impulsivity as a malevolent indication, you know, that I'm aligning with something malevolent when I'm being impulsive and and you know, that kind of goes the road rage, or it can go to buying something on the internet in two seconds without thinking twice, you know, and that impulsivity, yeah. Will it bring regret? Will it bring remorse? Will you want to return it? Will you wish you didn't do it? You know, so there's just all these ways that we can weigh things with the idea of benevolent and malevolent. And I also want to say that I think it was good that you brought in neutrality because I feel like if benevolence can't be reached, then maybe neutrality can.

Speaker

Right. Yeah, yeah, I could see that. And I mean, yeah, because if let's say I'm caught up in some kind of abusive relationship, for example, it might be super difficult for me to to feel like benevolent towards the other person, but yeah, I mean, I can intellectually say to myself, I hope this other person can change. I I hope this other person um can stop creating bad karma for themselves. I hope, I mean, and then removing myself from the situation. Yeah. Ideally, I mean not taking it out of a place of benevolence because I need to be benevolent towards myself, which means remov removing myself from this from an abusive situation, but not wishing like death and destruction onto the the abuser. I also think I think that's a big deal, actually.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I think that the subject of abusive relationships is huge because it's really hard, and this kind of goes back to what we were saying at the beginning, where if you're in that peaceful place, if you have a peaceful day today, then playing around with benevolence is an option. Whereas if you're in a domestic uh abuse situation, it may be a little more difficult to even discern up from down or well.

Speaker

I don't know. I think it's maybe even more important in the position like that because you want to apply it to yourself. It is more important, be benevolent towards yourself initially.

Speaker 2

And yeah, even even having that indication of wait a minute, what is benevolence? Like if you're hearing this and you're in that kind of a situation, the idea of benevolence can be that cognitive dissonance that can help you get somewhere safe, you know. And I feel like having been in that situation before, I it it takes a level of time and getting the courage and the support.

Speaker

There's there's so many variables for everything. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you have to act now. Yeah, you have to get yourself safe now. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

Speaker 2

And I yeah.

Speaker

It's not it's there you but it's important to realize too when it comes to abusive relationships, then the number one relationship we need to work with is our relationship with ourselves.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker

Because we can we have I I believe in our culture we've kind of been trained to be malevolent towards ourselves with our negative self-talk, you know, berating ourselves, you're not enough, whatever. How could you have made that mistake? How could you be so stupid? You know, all that kind of self-talk, and really that's abusive to ourselves. And if we're really hooked into trying to be benevolent, that's when we start with uh more of the encouraging self talk. Yeah, you got this, bro. You can do this. I know you made a mistake, you but you can learn from that mistake and be wiser, and you got this, you got this, bro. You know, talking to yourself like you're talking to a good friend. Yeah.

Speaker 2

Yeah. And I like to uh see that side of me that is hurt as a little girl that I then scoop her up and g give her a nice nurturing hug and just try to be with her. And that's been how I've worked with benevolence to kind of shift out of uh my challenges with my own mental health and working with this inner child and trying to give her the love she needed and needs so that I can be benevolent. And I know that this will be my final thought, but it's a a saying that we've probably all heard before, but trying to not judge people because you have no idea what they're going through. And I think that that right there is a really nice benevolent act. And you know, going back to someone cutting me off on the road, or you know, someone just m giving me a dirty look in a gas station or something, you know, it's like I have no idea what they're going through. Do I really need to take offense to that right now?

Speaker

Or, you know, people who've done terrible things or and are in prison or just on the streets or whatever, you know, we we have no idea what they've gone through. Right. You know, and for us to be like judging them and be like, ha ha, they're getting what they deserve, you know, like the malevolent vibe is just it's kind of repulsive in a way.

Speaker 2

I remember like I just keep remembering the boomerang. And if I am looking at somebody on the street and thinking, what a loser, that was me just throwing a boomerang, and I'm gonna get it.

Speaker

Well, well, and then that is my favorite way to think about karma, is the energy I'm putting out into the world gets reflected back at me. So if I'm putting out that energy, it's like look out, you know. Yeah, so just if I'm benevolent towards myself, I'm not gonna put out malevolent energy towards others because I know I know better. So a lot of it is just a knowing and the the the intellect can help lead us towards benevolence, yeah. You know, because we can make that choice, it kind of makes sense, and it's kind of exciting and adventurous because the the question is if I can really plug in to this philosophy of benevolence, how will my life change? And I, you know, I'm working on it, so I'm not I'm not sure, but it it's kind of an exciting way to look at the future. Oh, if I can transform my mind, what how will my life transform for the better? I'm assuming, absolutely, and so it's fun. And I would just like to suggest uh perhaps a practice that we can all use to work on finding more benevolence if you're interested in that concept, if you're interested in developing the philosophy of benevolence, one thing a practice is to you can think about one or two people who you really feel malevolent towards. And they can be, you know, people you know, or people from the media, or people from Facebook, or politicians perhaps, or just whoever really gets under your skin and you feel like you have a lot of malevolent um angst that you point at this person, really examine that and try and try on the belief of benevolence of oh, I really hope this person can change their ways and can reduce the amount of karma they're creating for themselves or can see the light and become benevolent themselves. I really wish that these people can can evolve. I wish all people can evolve. So of course we're gonna wish that on everyone, and it's really it's it's kind of a fun practice, it's challenging.

Speaker 2

I know a lot of people will not like it, but challenges are meant to be entertaining and growth-oriented, in my opinion.

Speaker

And they're not for everybody, it's kind of like lifting weights for the mind, it's like lifting weights for the body. Not everybody, it's not for everybody, yeah. But for those who are curious and see life as an adventure and see life as something that can shift for the better, you know, I suggest giving it a shot.

Speaker 2

Yeah, and if that is interesting to you, we did create a piece reset toolkit with seven skills and benevolence is one of them. So if you're curious what the other six are, go ahead to mindflowradio.life and download our little ebook, join our mailing list, and become part of the MindFlow Radio tribe.

Speaker

Yeah, and it's free.

Speaker 2

Be well, y'all.

Speaker

Peace and love.