Mindflow Radio: The Path is the Destination
MindFlow Radio is a real conversation between a therapist and a wellness coach exploring what it means to live with awareness, compassion, and steadiness.
Through honest dialogue, embodied practices, and original music, Jai and Monte share reflections and tools to help you reconnect with yourself and meet life with greater clarity and ease.
Check out https://mindflowradio.life/
Mindflow Radio: The Path is the Destination
Mindflow Radio #128: Aging Gracefully, Healthy Boundaries
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Welcome to Mindflow Radio.
SPEAKER_05Mindflow Radio.
SPEAKER_01She's Jalen. And here's Monty. So buckle your seatbelts and get ready to take a trip towards reality.
SPEAKER_05I have no comeback.
SPEAKER_01Well, you just gotta ease into it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's it's interesting though, because if we do, if we're able to actually move our mind state more towards reality or the reality of the universe, then we just naturally feel better.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I feel like that's like an acceptance of the universe's reality, which we can never really know. Right. So it's this acceptance of uncertainty, this acceptance of my plan is not always the universe's plan. Right. There's that.
SPEAKER_01Certainly, but there's things we can know. Yeah. You know, as far as the universe, and I mean, for example, we can like look at time. Okay. You know, and see that like an infinite amount of time is in front of us, an infinite amount of time is behind us. Okay. And that we're in this point. And Marcus Aurelius talks about this. He says, use this technique when you're feeling like upset about things you can't control or whatever it is. Okay. He goes, if you keep, if you ponder the infinite nature of time that puts everything into perspective. Okay. You see, and once we're more in perspective with the nature of things, then we just naturally feel better. That means we're more in harmony with the great mother itself, which is the universe.
SPEAKER_05Are you saying the nature of things is infinite time? I'm a little confused.
SPEAKER_01Well, infinite time plays a role in yeah, in material reality for sure. Okay. Absolutely. And I mean it's beyond our absolute conceptualization.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's what I'm feeling.
SPEAKER_01But it kind of leads us into feeling like, oh, maybe I am blowing this out of proportion. Right. Maybe this little incident is not worth me ruminating about for me and wasting my time and energy. For weeks or for years or for decades.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it's really true. You know, for sure. Um I I found myself really worrying about something that could happen in the future, may or may not. And hours went by, and then I was uh it it dawned on me that I couldn't know if or if not this was gonna happen. And why was I even spending my precious energy on it?
SPEAKER_01Well, that's it. That's like where wisdom lies. It's like, well, I really can't figure this out. Do I just really want to keep ruminating on it?
SPEAKER_05Right. It's like, no. We have finite energy. Right. We we're not endless or infinite in our energy. And if we spend our life force energy worrying about something that really may not even happen.
SPEAKER_01Right. It doesn't make sense. No, it's unwise.
SPEAKER_05The older I get, the more I realize it doesn't make sense.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. That's good. Well, it's leaning into wisdom, then.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Old age wisdom. Sometimes it can happen at least. Not does not necessarily happen.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I had this realization actually about aging. Um of course I'm not that far into aging, but I'm enough into it that I can see where it's going. And I had this idea and remembrance that I am not my body.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05So I don't it's it doesn't serve me to judge my body as it ages. Because it's just this thing that I am inhabiting. And the healthier I keep it, the better. But I can't ensure health and I can't ensure mobility. And but I can do what I can do to make things easier and better.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05That doesn't guarantee anything. And the older I get, the more difficult mobility and health will be. Perhaps. Perhaps, you know, for most people, right? And how am I going to let that go as it comes, you know? How can I, instead of lament that I'm not 20 anymore, which I wouldn't really want to be 20 because that was a hard time too. But if for people that do feel super sad about the aging process, how does one release? You know, how does one release the sadness, or I don't know the exact words, but when you look in the mirror and and see the aging process, you know? How how to just let go of the identification?
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean, a lot of it is just how you see yourself. Right. I mean, and a lot of this, you know, the idea of aging and gotta stay youthful and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's all that's like cultural conditioning. Okay. For our particular like culture where people want to sell you stuff all the time, and they'll sell you, you know, anything, anything and everything. And so our culture is based on this. You gotta look a certain way, you gotta be a certain way, you gotta, you know, be capable, you know, just whatever it is. And it in reality, our bodies are just really just vehicles for our soul. Right. You know, in a temporary vehicle at that, it's like a car. This is my current model.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, right. Right? It's getting rusty, but you know what you're gonna do about it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, still gotta change the oil and yeah, fix up the rust if you can, keep good tires on it, you know. Yeah. Park it indoors during the winter. That'd be nice, huh? But I mean, if we if we view our our bodies like that, then it feels a lot different than you know, the whole YOLO, oh, you only live once. Oh, this is my body, oh, this body is me. Oh no, you know, you know, and then people get all like wound up, and well, what happens? You know, some people they end up dying and freezing their head. Literally, yes, literally, probably costs you like a thousand dollars a month or something.
SPEAKER_04Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01Keep your head in perpetual.
SPEAKER_04Um that's that's I mean, people do that. Such a cartoon. Well, it's it's kind of a nice thing. Do they really though? Yes, that's a real thing. Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, anyway.
SPEAKER_01See, well, it's a business, you know. Again, the business. It's a business. Yeah, right. I think I was thinking about starting that business.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I'm glad I don't work for that business. I would not be able to deal. That brings up another thought, actually. How I was I was thinking about how grateful I am that the my career is something that I love and uses my skills, and um I get to practice what I what I preach basically, and put my own tools to the test and and really learn how to work with individuals in a way that serves them and teaches me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And I was thinking about uh the future of our culture and future of careers, and I've heard things that you know some careers are fading out, and new careers are about to be invented.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And I was thinking about all the people who did what they felt that they were supposed to do, which was work a job that didn't please them and didn't bring them any joy whatsoever, you know, besides maybe a co-worker, you know, or something like that. And how amazing it would be if there were really uh happy people doing their work. Or happy, I don't like the word happy, but people pleased with what they're doing and people feeling fulfilled and just that idea of getting to do something you love. And I know that doesn't always have to mean getting paid, you know, like a lot of musicians play music because they love to play music, not because they get paid for it, you know. So there's ways to uh find the way to do what you love, whether it pays or not. So I don't know, it was just a thought I had about wanting people to, and myself to find what brings them joy and fit it into their life. Yeah, and that goes with the aging gracefully thing, you know.
SPEAKER_01It sounds to me like you're talking about finding your dharma. Sure, you know, whatever that is, and you find your dharma, and then you participate in your dharma, and then you feel better. You you're living with purpose at that point.
SPEAKER_05So is that what dharma is living with purpose?
SPEAKER_01Well, our our dharma is our it's our own individual um set of strengths.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01That we have to notice, hone in on, and then act accordingly. You know, and the it's it's tricky because the ego can get involved. Yeah. Yeah, the ego's like, no, I want this to be my strength. And it's like, well, you know, is it or isn't it? You know, it's it's not what the ego wants here, it's what what is real.
SPEAKER_05I feel like that's seen in the reflection of the world around us, right? What do you mean? Um, like if I think my dharma is uh standing on a soapbox and telling the world that it's about to end and no one stops to talk to me, right? Then that's probably not my dharma.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. Well, that's not I mean, it could be a test. Okay. To see if you're willing to stick with it. I mean, who knows? Every situation has so many variables, and life is not black and white. You know, it's like, oh, this means it's not my dharma. Oh, this means it no, it's like it it's subtle. That's the hard part. It's subtle. Well, it is, it is, but it's it's a question that each of us has to really answer for ourselves. And if we're if we're able to do that, then we have we have some kind of like compass in our life. Okay, it's like, oh, the compass is pointing north, I'm gonna go that direction, you know, rather than just flailing around, and that's how I feel like I'm doing it and kind of getting beyond like the like our culture again. Our culture, what does our culture teach us? It's like the most important thing is money. That's our culture vibe, right there. You know, okay. If I only had enough money, then I'd be happy. Money equals happiness, and money equals power.
SPEAKER_05I just really don't like the the search for happiness. I feel like it's just always a let-down.
SPEAKER_01Well, in in some way, I mean in some Buddhist culture cultures, they don't even have word a word for happiness. Okay. Yeah, I heard about this. This Buddhist came into this country, and he was like, everybody's talking about happiness. What is this? You know, and you think of it, this idea of happiness, again, it's been like culturally spun. Like, what is happiness? Oh, happiness, if I get this really nice car and then I eat, I eat um frosted flakes in the morning because that makes me feel young and it's happy, it's fun. And then it's like, etc., etc. etc. And when in reality, I agree. It's like the life should not be a quest for happiness. Life, if anything, should be a quest for contentment. Yeah. And we went if we're on our dharma, we feel content. If we're living our dharma, we feel content. Once we're feeling content, we just naturally, naturally have less anxiety, less depression.
SPEAKER_05Okay, so I have a question then, because I'm with the soapbox, soap box example. So it's kind of up to how the person feels if they feel content with no one listening or you know, people flipping them off or whatever, you know. Like if they're content, then that's their dharma.
SPEAKER_01Well, if you're let's say well, you're trying to be a preacher, right? Okay, because that's what it sounds like. Some kind of preacher preaching this or that. And um I don't know, there's just uh there's so much to it. It's like perhaps we're supposed to be a preacher, but just about one specific like aspect of reality.
SPEAKER_05And that's that's our culture right there, you know, specialization. Yeah. We have been taught to specialize, you know. Oh, yeah. And uh I feel like when I look at what is my specialty, you know, and I try to uh boil it down and how do all the things that I've trained in tie in to a specialty, and yeah, it's just feeling better. That's my specialty. Feeling a little bit better.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so just working with your energy, yeah, and breath and mind and yeah, regulating your your energy, regulating your breath, regulating your posture, regulating your thoughts.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, and that kind of goes to what we were originally thinking. We talk about with the boundaries and how how to have healthy boundaries with the self and what does that even mean?
SPEAKER_01And well, I mean, you know, I'd like to, you know, if you're talking about all these aspects of regul regulation as being part of your dharma, you know, it's like that's most likely that's true for a lot of us, perhaps. You know, and because what you're saying is you're you want to be able to regulate your energy, your and energy, the energy you create in your own mind shoots out into the world, whether you like it or not. And you like hook into that vibration. Maybe a bunch of us are supposed to be hooking into like a more of a um flow state kind of uh energy, mind energy. Right? And maybe I mean I'm just thinking off the top of my head here, but maybe that's a lot of our dharmas is to just ultimately get into that flow as much as possible and be part of the change that be part of the evolution of humanity because of that. I mean, but the more complex part of that is how do we get into the flow? That's when we have to use our strengths again.
SPEAKER_05Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I'm good at music, okay. I'll do music, and that helps me get in the flow. Oh, I'm good at movement, okay. I'll do movement, that'll help me get in the flow.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I'm good at philosophy, oh I'll I'll work with my mind and get in the flow, or I'll write something, or so yeah, yeah, and um I feel that how boundaries ties in here is creating a boundary with the self that when I notice that I'm ruminating, I will acknowledge, return to myself, and remember that I've chosen that the flow state is my goal.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Or something like that. Yeah, right. And just not not being in like some um triggered state and just being like, oh well, this is the way it is.
SPEAKER_05Right. Just like giving into it. And I've done that so many times. Because once you get into that triggered state, it's hard to remember that you had goals or that there's a such thing as a healthy boundary. Right.
SPEAKER_01I mean, and the boundary is like I I I I set a boundary for myself of you know, I mean, we all become triggered, right? I think most of us. I do, certainly, you know, but my personal boundary is when I get triggered, I don't want to spend too much time there. Yeah. You know, so I use techniques ideally to get me out of that um narrow because being triggered is like a narrow perspective, and tight. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Like uh the the way it feels inside of myself is like the world becomes tunnel vision, and I can only see what's upsetting me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_05You just honed in on the some negative aspect of your life, and uh and then my whole spine, it's like even the column of my spine gets small, like my vision gets my vision gets small, and my uh ability to feel good in my body gets small too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's interesting. That's like an interesting practice I use sometimes is I just try and go outside and have like that wide vision, panoramic vision, kind of like just seeing, trying to see everything, you know, above, below to each side, and just like noticing the colors and the movement and that alone. That that's yeah, the present moment.
SPEAKER_05I mean, yeah, there are so many teachers, and there are different modalities that express how valuable the present moment is.
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah, it's it's it's um it's as close as we can get to reality.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it's the only thing we can guarantee.
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_05The present moment. I mean, we can't even guarantee that the past was exactly the way we remember it. You know, there's been so many studies that show how our brain can can adds to things, yeah, or misses things. Oh yeah, you know, because when we're in that tunnel vision, we're not gonna see the person that reaches out and wants to help us. We'll just feel alone and nobody's there, you know.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_05So the only thing we have that we can really count on is the present moment, but then the nuance there is we can't really count on ourselves to be in the present moment.
SPEAKER_01No, but the more we train, the more we can be there. Yeah. That's like it just takes practice.
SPEAKER_05Because that's the true flow state.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, oh yeah.
SPEAKER_05When you're actually in the present moment. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's like the basketball player who's like just so present and he's not missing a shot. It's like boosh, it's like, what's going on? You know, it's like, oh, he's connected with the Tao, he or she, you know. It's like, oh okay, that's cool. So everybody wants to see this flow state, so they pack a stadium and they can all kind of get in the flow state together then because yeah, okay, yeah. The audience is watching the ball. Boom. Yeah, two point, yeah, right.
SPEAKER_05That's interesting. I've never really thought about it like that. Like that the present moment for the audience is as as amazing as the player. I've I've never thought of that before.
SPEAKER_01It's like this huge experience.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's neat.
SPEAKER_01The field goal kicker who makes the the last second field 50-yard field goal or whatever, and everybody just like, yeah, you know, watching the ball. It's like you know, and it goes through and just like an eruption of emotion, you know, positive or just thrilling emotion, you know, and then people are just present in that in that like energetic like revelry.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. And it's, I mean, true uh collective there, you know, because they're all literally present with each other. Yeah. In the moment, in a stadium. Yeah. Wow. Now I understand. I've I've really not understood why that's a fun thing before. Now I get it. Yeah, so I do want to just uh tie in how the acceptance of aging gracefully the boundary that can be created with the mind to disidentify with the body, you know, and identify with the soul versus the body. Right. And how these tie together.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and it's not almost like it's not disidentifying with the body, it is seeing the body for what it is. Our vehicle. Yeah, which is like the latest model. Right, right, right.
SPEAKER_05Gotcha. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, so I we're gonna share this Shiva mantra, which the translation is a request to Shiva, who he is the uh in Hindu he's the destroyer. So basically the one who recycles life and the the winter and the fall. And basically the words are actually let me be a ripe cucumber that you don't pick until it's time, and that I won't worry because I'll trust when you pick me. So it's a very um it's a mantra that really helps the chanter accept life, yeah. Acceptance and patience, yeah, you know, and the aging process because we're ripening, we're ripening, yeah, and our minds are getting more mature, our souls are have the opportunity to speak louder than our egos at times, depending on how we can arrange ourselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it it feels to me that maybe why this chant was even written is because of the difficult process of accepting, oh, I'm not 20 anymore, oh I'm not spry anymore, you know, and I have no idea if there were mirrors back then. But I feel like whether or not there's mirrors, that there's this uh challenge within humans of the letting go process.
SPEAKER_01Right. Well, and just it makes me think of my my old dog Riley, you know, and he he was like a magnificent, strong, huge, fast dog, and then boom, he caught limes. And then boom, he's fallen down. It's like, oh, it's just heartbreaking, you know. But his attitude stayed the same. His his his attitude was the same. He would lay there and let us pet him, you know, blah, blah, blah. It wasn't like he was mourning his um his body deteriorating, you know, which is I think that's kind of the way animals are, and it's something you know we can learn.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. And that's what this chant is about. Okay. You know, keeping a good attitude, trusting that when your time is here, that that's how it is.
SPEAKER_01Well, and yeah, and really working on, you know, well, what do I have to offer the world? That's like an that's kind of like an attitude that can come on when you're when you're getting a little older. You know, because the attitude when you're younger is how can I how can I drive that Corvette? You know, get that penthouse, you know, whatever. But now it's like it that's just an important question we ask ourselves. How can I um help the world evolve? How can I play my role in this?
SPEAKER_05You know, and not fear. Because that's the other part.
SPEAKER_01More love, less fear.
SPEAKER_05Well, that's what the chant is about, you know, it's not being afraid. Okay, it's trusting that you will be here until the proper time. Yeah. That you you will be picked like a cucumber in the garden.
SPEAKER_01I see.
SPEAKER_05And so there's uh it's it it's a message to the chanter to not fear, to not worry.
SPEAKER_01Well, and this is the natural way.
SPEAKER_05And this is the natural way, yes.
SPEAKER_01We shouldn't it it's not beneficial to fight against the natural way.
SPEAKER_05Right. And so that helps us be more like the animals that already they they don't fight the natural way, they don't consider the natural way, they are the natural way.
SPEAKER_01Just like when I think of people, it's like the natural way, you know, how do we fight it? We like, you know, take all these pills, plastic surgeries, working out, diet, you know.
SPEAKER_05Or just self-judgment and self-hate and you know, fighting against it, which actually can cause a lot of health issues in itself. Acceptance goes a long, long way. Yeah, acceptance is very helpful, yeah. It brings peace. So here is that chant, and we'll continue our conversation in a moment. Yeah, Shiva is to be respected. Yeah, I I really appreciate the Hindu in the yogic perspective of the main three realms of life. And it's the initiation or the initiator, you know, beginning a project, the birth of a baby, the rebirth of an adult who finally has a eureka moment. You know, that's that's all the Brahma, and then Vishnu is the the sustainer, the one that uh keeps things going, keeps things growing, the rain, the warmth of the sun in proper relation to each other.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Whereas Shiva would be the flood that wipes it out, or the drought that kills it all, you know. So it's uh very natural, these three aspects that we can see all over, you know, and Shiva is also the one that says this aspect of me has got to go. And that kind of brings back the idea of the boundaries, you know, and boundaries, yeah. Boundaries are important.
SPEAKER_01You know, one way to look at boundaries too. I mean you said you said earlier um lots of respect for the spirit world. Yeah, that's one one way I heard it, and it's like absolutely, yeah, you know, even though we we don't know the details, we can pretend we know the details. I can pretend, I can talk like I know the details, but you know well what what's really happening in the spirit world, and I've really been one of the my boundaries as I try and do exactly what you're talking about, is which is respecting the spirit world, which is for me, it's like acknowledging, acknowledging that in my mind, most likely there are all these things happening that I'm not aware of. You know, like the I've been like meditating on um orb angels. Okay, yeah, recently and feeling like when I can meditate and like really get into that flow and like visualize the orb angels, I believe I am energizing these orb angels, energizing them, boom-boom-boom. So they're like lighting up, they're becoming brighter, stronger, yeah, and stronger. So they're able to protect me better and yeah, and they're able to fly off and make connections for me more effectively. Nice. So I think those are the angels can do both of those things. I believe, you know, maybe I'm wrong. I don't uh, but I mean I do respect the the spirit world.
SPEAKER_05I like what you're saying, and honestly, I hadn't considered that before. Uh, and I tend to get mad at the universe and feel like the universe is like playing a joke on me, and and it's very upsetting to me. So I'm intrigued by what you're saying because I don't think that that I have ever thought of the boundary of I will respect the spirit world.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I mean, yeah, I think from uh my religious trauma, I probably dropped my respect, you know, because I used to be very respectful and read the Bible, and I was such a good little human trying to do everything that I was supposed to do so I could go to heaven.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And as things just got worse and worse for me, I didn't, I finally just said, no, no, I'm not playing this game anymore. I'm not gonna continue to respect that there's some meaning to what's happening to me because this is absolutely horrible. And so, you know, I think I found spirituality, but I don't think I regained that respect. So this this is very interesting.
SPEAKER_01It is interesting. So when you're triggered, it's easier for you to lose respect for the spirit world.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Instead of being uh in acknowledgement of, you know, there's a divine plan, and maybe I don't understand it, and this might be exactly and instead I'm like, oh, I'm just the the joke of the universe, and and you know, they're getting a good laugh out of this.
SPEAKER_01And that's a huge victim stance too. That one scares me.
SPEAKER_05I've never really understood why it scared you until now. Because I'm like, hey, I'm not blaming you. Shouldn't you be happy? I'm not blaming you. But no, I get it. So that's really interesting. I'll have to add that into my thought process now. Well, it's kind of yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because it's if it's a boundary, it's empowering.
SPEAKER_05A boundary would mean that I see myself go back to the I'm the joke, I'm the butt of the joke again, and be like, no, wait, my boundary is that I respect the spirit world, and it this is most likely happening for a reason. And I'm gonna return to myself, I'm gonna return to my breath, I'm gonna relax my spinal column and empower your angels, perhaps. Yeah. Because I do believe in that too, and I actually do that every morning as well. I don't imagine them getting brighter, but I do imagine like calling my angels around me and saying, Okay, we're ready for the day. And so in that way, I'm doing something very similar. But I think having that boundary could possibly help me deal with uh when I get really triggered.
SPEAKER_01I think so too, because once you get into that place of like disrespecting like the Tao, that's like the opposite of being in harmony with the Tao. Yeah, you know, it's like, and you know, in the Tao De Ching, you get in harmony with the Tao, the Tao takes care of you. Yeah. So it's it's in our best interest to at least try to stay sort of in harmony with the Tao. And I know we all fall off the path, you know. All of us, you know. I mean, or we we wander from the path, we don't fall off. We wandered. And we have our defaults. We wander away, we wander this way, we wander. Yeah, we have our old habits. Yeah. That yeah, our default habits that we learned when we were like who knows how old. Right. But we can change those default habits.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's the one thing we can do. It takes effort, yeah, it takes uh tools generally, okay. Unless you're really good at contemplating properly.
SPEAKER_01Here's a good tool that I've been using recently, is just I keep, and I learned this from Ram Das. Um as I breathe in, I say I am as exhale. I am exhale, loving awareness. I am loving awareness, I am, and when I say that in my mind, which I keep coming back to throughout the day, probably yesterday I was saying it not a lot of the time, but regularly. You know, and but when I I notice when I go into that place of that of using that mantra, my vision naturally gets wider. Speaking of like nice narrow vision, this is a way uh this is a technique I use that automatically the vision gets wider, and it's more than wide, by the way. It's almost like you get to a point of everything seems like it's glowing. It's almost like you see the energy in everything. I've been there, you know, and so it's like it's wide, but and it's like super glowing and vital and alive, essentially. And that's yeah, I love it when I get there. I want to spend more time there.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I get there by laying in the grass and looking up at a tree. Okay, and then I see like light coming off of the tree and the grass. So there's this, and it literally sparkles. And that's been I've been doing that for over a decade now. A good 15, maybe even 20 years now. But I remember I uh had a pretty bad injury, and I was already trained in yoga, so I decided that laying on the earth would probably help take the pain away. And I laid on the earth in Shivasana, and there was trees all around me, and I just looked up and I let the tears fall, and then the tears were gone, and the trees glowed, and there were sparkles everywhere, and I didn't know what it was, but now I feel like it's it's like the aura of the earth and the trees or something like that. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah. It's true, it's like everything's got an energetic charge to it. I mean, that's basic.
SPEAKER_05And when you slow down enough, then you can see it.
SPEAKER_01Equals Mc squared, energy equals mass times the speed of light squared, which is really, I mean, that's Einstein's like one of his most famous um theorems, I believe. And but what it boils down to is that every everything has a ton of energy in it. Like a lot.
SPEAKER_05I've also heard that energy can never be created or destroyed, it's just transformed.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I don't know if it's I mean, you know, these are all theories, right?
SPEAKER_01Well, right. Yeah, it's interesting. I don't know, you split an atom and it creates all this um this huge explosion. Okay. But I I don't think the energy is not created, it's just like shifting. You're releasing it. Yeah, that's what's happening. But they yeah, the energy is released, it's like this you know, so yeah. But just acknowledging that energy is part of everything, that's like a step in the right direction. It's like, no, everything's not dead and just there for me to use. It's part of this energetic matrix that is material reality. And that's a thing. Once we get into into touch with the perspective of, well, you know, I'm a soulful being, this is my temporary vehicle. It's like, okay, so material reality itself, perhaps, is not most of reality. Perhaps it's just like a thin little slice, and most of reality is like spiritual reality, which who knows what that is like. We we don't know, you know, I mean beyond space and time.
SPEAKER_05And what did we really look like? I I I've told some people that I feel like we look like squid.
SPEAKER_01Squid.
SPEAKER_05Or like a sea anemone. I mean, man. How do you know?
SPEAKER_01I look like an orb of light.
SPEAKER_05You don't have any tentacles reaching out? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Who knows?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I feel like it's really fun to imagine what we really look like because I feel that we already know that our eyes are limited in their spectrum of light. So if our eyes are limited in the spectrum of light, then what is beyond that?
SPEAKER_01Right. It's like what do things really look like? Right. What do things really sound like? We can only hear so much. Right. You know, we're very limited. But we we tend to be like, okay, I'm very limited in what I can see and what I can hear, but whatever I can see and whatever I can hear, that's reality. Yeah, right. That's everything.
SPEAKER_05Right. And then we argue about it. It's like, is it maroon or is it a deep red? Let's fight about it.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05So yeah, I I think that is kind of the word that comes to mind is humility. Well, yeah. You know, and and maybe it's deep red for you and maybe it's maroon for me, but how about we don't argue about it? Because why would I say that you're wrong?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05You know, because in reality we both could be right and or wrong, you know, because we can't see the whole spectrum. So yeah, that brings humility. And I think I think humility is one a virtue, but also could be part of a boundary, which kind of goes back to respecting the universe because there's humility in that. There's there's humility in I can't know it all. There's absolutely no way that I know it all. Yeah. And so if I can just step back and trust, that's humble, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it takes humility to just get out of that position of I am the knower. I know everything.
SPEAKER_05And it needs to be the way I want it because that's because I know I know what the way it's supposed to be, right? And therefore that I want everyone to do it my way. You know? And I think that uh the more we can differentiate me from you and respect each other, then the more we can honor our own individual boundaries. Because a real boundary is on the self.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And and you know, it's like a healthy boundary, but that is a real boundary. Like if I have a boundary on you, what do you mean? Like you have to do this my way. Oh you know, that's not a true boundary. That's a command.
SPEAKER_01It's kind of like a power tripping position when Yeah, you're yeah, in reality, the boundaries. I mean, if we have well right, on your own mind. You know, I I don't want to go into a place of um victim stancing more than I have to, you know, or I don't want to be in a place of you know judging others more than I need to, you know, and just like boundaries like that. Yes, you know, I don't want to be hateful. To mean it's a boundary. It's like yeah, and I don't see the value in it.
SPEAKER_05I guess I I want to ask you, yeah, as someone who's been around longer and been working on this a little bit longer. So, okay, you get in a hateful place. What are you gonna do about it?
SPEAKER_01Just take a look at it, you know, try and like shut that rumination down. Because if you if you're hateful, if I'm hateful, it's because I feel like you know somebody's one one reason I could feel hate is I feel like somebody's infringing on my um Rights. Yeah, right. And then I'm American. Right.
SPEAKER_05Sorry.
SPEAKER_01No. And but then if I want to get out of the hate, I can understand that, oh, maybe this is happening for a reason, maybe I'm supposed to learn from this. Maybe the other person that I'm irritated with is also a soulful being. That's a one way to let go of a lot of the you know, demonizing others, you know, talking smack about others, whatever. It's just like that's all part of the hate game.
SPEAKER_05And so is it there's the boundary and then there's the protocol? Well, yeah, I mean both. I mean, you want you want to Or is the protocol part of the boundary? That's what my question is.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I mean the protocol can help you keep your boundaries. Okay. If you have new a new protocol, I'm gonna try and see this person as a soulful being. I'm gonna try and not ruminate about the negative stuff that I'm experiencing. I'm going to do what I can to improve how I'm feeling. You know, if I need to get away from somebody, do it. You know, I'm not saying just you know, take it, you know, but I'm more effective if I'm not hateful in the process. If I need to get away from somebody and I hate that person, I I'd I'd probably be a lot more effective if I was just like relaxed in my mind, okay. I need to get away from this person and then just do it in a in a reasonable way. You know, being doing it in a hateful way, who knows what that could lead to.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. You know, and hate is like an extreme. It is, but I mean it's a little more common in our culture. I know it is common, but then there's like the pre preemptive as it's building up into hate, yeah, where uh I feel uh the boundary could be better placed so you don't get to that activation point. But I did give you that example, and I feel that there's you know there's the moment of realizing hate, and then there's the way before that, the moment of realizing, well, I'm really uptight today, I'm having a very difficult day, I feel thin skinned, I'm yeah, I'm triggered easily, I'm getting mad at people on the road. Yeah, wow, I need to take five minutes to just either pull off the road, go to a park or a parking lot, and just feel the present moment. Okay, I'm irritated, yeah, right, my breath is tight, I'm angry, I uh my energy is spiky, right? Um my mind is racing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And then you can do a little bit of just melting in your seats a little bit, let your spine relax and back off a little bit, take some time to just, ooh, okay. Can I hear any birds?
SPEAKER_01Well, in some ways too, what you're doing is you're you're one of your boundaries might be I'm gonna be as compassionate as possible to myself. And you know that if you get stuck in like this hate vibe, that's just gonna wreck my day. Yeah, and be hard on your body and hard on your emotions, and you know, and like it's understandable. We just don't want to spend a whole lot of time there. Right. You know, have compassion, let that let that be a boundary. I'm gonna be as compassionate as possible to myself.
SPEAKER_05Yes, because that's the other piece, right? Is we realize we're escalating into that uh extreme.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And then the hate gets turned on ourselves. Or it does for me.
SPEAKER_01Okay, well yeah, right.
SPEAKER_05And then it's just like, I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I why can't I figure this out? You know, but if there's this self-compassion boundary, I feel like how how do you suggest that a person adopts these new boundaries and actually works on them? Because it's it's one thing to be like, oh yeah, I'm gonna make a boundary, and and then it's another thing to actually use it.
SPEAKER_01Right. Well, it takes practice, just like anything.
SPEAKER_05I what comes to mind for me is making a picture or at least writing it and putting it somewhere that I'll remember and like repeating it to myself in the morning and at night. And I mean, that's what's coming to me.
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah, I mean, uh for sure. That's why I do like chanting every day. Sure. In the morning. So I try and remind myself of who I am. Oh, yeah. You know, and once you're able to do that, remind myself of the spirit world, remind myself of who I am. If you can start off your day that way, then it's like you're you're you just foundation. You have foundation. Well, you're you're much more balanced. I mean, and you're hooked into you know, ideally your higher self.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your boundaries, your parameters.
SPEAKER_01But if you can consistently keep coming back to that place, that's the way to really be compassionate to yourself. Yeah, and it's not just making a declaration, oh, I'm gonna be more compassionate to myself. Okay, then done.
SPEAKER_05That doesn't work.
SPEAKER_01That doesn't work.
SPEAKER_05I mean, I mean, I guess it could if you were really self-aware. But as I know from studying neuroscience and the neuroscience of trauma, if you want to create a new pathway in your brain, you have to practice it. It doesn't just happen. And the old highway is like a 80 mile per hour inner state.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And you're building this new highway that uh at the moment is a gravel road.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_05So, and that gravel road could get forgotten about and be covered in weeds very quickly. So it takes, in my opinion, it takes tools, it takes practice, it takes parameters, it takes reminders around the house that, oh yeah, I want to rewire my brain.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05So if if there's not a 80 mile per hour inner state of negative, which most of us have just simply because we're human and we were trained to know where the poison berries are. So it takes effort to create positive highways. Well, it does.
SPEAKER_01I mean, and I mean, it's partly because we're human and partly because we've been exploited in a sense, just through advertising and news and TV and movies and blah blah blah blah blah. There's all that too in our cultural Facebook, etc. But yes.
SPEAKER_05Wow, I just looked at the time and we gotta roll. Gotta fly. All right. Well, peace and love to everyone. And we're gonna close it out with one of Monty's chants. And we hope you have a great month and explore what your parameters are and what the boundaries do you want to start beginning in your life. And have a great month. Be well, y'all.
SPEAKER_00Soul is you, soul is me, soul is you, soul is me, soul is you, soul is me. Yeah, don't you? Soul is you, when you're gonna be like, when we're gonna be soul is illuminating, soul is illuminating, soul is illuminating, soul is illuminating, soul is me, soul is you, soul is me, but Soul is you Soul is me, soul is you, but Soul is me. Soul is you don't need to be gonna be soul is illuminating. Soul is illuminating. Soul is illuminating, soul is illuminating. Going another bumblebee. Soul is me. Soul is you soul is me. Soul is you soul is me. Soul is you. So is me. So is you down? Soul is illuminating soul is illuminating Soul is illuminating, soul is indestructible, soul is indestructible, soul is indestructible, soul is indestructible, soul is me, soul is you, soul is me, soul is you don't get it. So is me soul is you're doing that. So is me. Soul is illuminating, soul is indestructible, soul is illuminating, soul is indestructible, soul is illuminating, soul is indestructible, soul is illuminating, soul is me, soul is you soul is me soul is you don't soul is me. So is you buttons? Soul is me. So is you don't get it? Soul is illuminating illuminating illuminating, soul is indestructible, soul is illuminating, soul is indestructible, soul is illuminating, soul is me, soul is you soul is me, but soul is you don't bother, soul is me. Soul is you soul is me. So is you know, you know.